I was visiting a dear friend, A.J. Russo, at his work (a local funeral home) and we were discussing how things were going to get done in California. I respected A.J.'s work and opinion on the topic, so he really helped me through the first couple of days. While in the office, I noticed a picture book. A local woman, Kim Cox, had been advertising for her services. She creates custom books for any occasion. I liked the idea, took a card, and went home.
I didn't contact Kim for several months. I was too busy getting my own life in order. I decided to take a leap of faith and give her a call. After much conversation and a TON of idea passing, we came up with the idea to do a memoir, a book of collected stories, pictures, and images that were all about my father. I got right on it.
Initially I was going to have it done for my mothers birthday in 2013, but that clearly wasn't enough time. I began collecting stories and pictures from his co-workers out in California. That took a while. The problem was, most people were busy and also grieving in their own way. It was difficult to get them to open up to me. After several months of just focusing on them, I turned to past work relationships. People from Tampa, people from Iowa, and his business partners from in between. After a great positive response, I turned to his friends (the ones I knew about and the ones on his facebook). They were the most helpful. All provided great heart-warming stories and pictures. They were all pleased to help with my project and some even offered to help fund it. I refused. I let them know if they wanted their own copy of the book, that I would be more than happy to send them the link after it was finished. Then the hard part came, tracking down people from my childhood that I remembered him speaking about. The people that my mom couldn't reach for the funeral, and the people that were so high up in their current positions that it was impossible to get a hold of them. I am happy to report I got in contact with all but one. All of which were happy to contribute. After I had over 40 pages of stories, I forgot that I didn't ask family. With one week left for editing, I frantically contacted my uncles, cousins, aunts, and close family friends. The result was again, overwhelming.
With stories in hand (some are still coming to this day), and pictures to boot- I needed a theme. I decided since my dad loved classic things, like cars and rock n' roll, that I would use this as the theme. I called Kim and we came up with the idea of having the backdrop for these stories the album covers of various works by popular artists in the 60's, 70's, and 80's. The only question left was the cover.
After probably 15 rough drafts, all failed, we decided to choose the classic album Abby Road from the Beatles. The cover was simple. The only thing that was changed to this matte 12x12 cover was the title of the album... it now read "Bobbie Road". It was more than perfect.
Kim and I met at a coffee shop and ran through the final draft of the layout and sent it off to be printed. A week or so later I had a knock at the door, and there were my books. SO perfect.
After missing mom's birthday last year, I thought I would make Christmas. When that deadline was too missed, I decided I would pull out all the stops and definitely give it to her on her birthday this year, March 7, 2014.
When the books came, I was so overwhelmed with joy and emotions that I just couldn't wait. I sat down with my son and we went through all the pictures. I had personally read and edited and had the stories professionally edited again, so I was familiar with the content. Chalen loved the pictures and said he wanted to be the one to give it to his Grandma.
My mom has just bought a house. She is in the middle of moving this week. I rarely get out her way to see her as is, and the truth is she is moving even farther away. I had to do this now. My Aunt Vicki is in town helping her, so it was nice to see her too.
As soon as we got to the house, it was empty. I was sad at first, seeing the home my father built looking like an empty shell.... but it soon turned to relief when I realized this was how my mother was saying her final goodbye. She needed this.
I took out the book and told Chalen to bring it to her and say "Happy early Birthday Grandma!"
He took it over to her and held it out. She reached for it with the most confused look on her face that I had ever seen her have. I encouraged her to open it. She said, "What's this?"
I explained over the last year and a half that I had been collecting stories and pictures from people around the nation that wanted to contribute to this book and that it was all for her. Her wedding pictures were in it, pictures from when my sister and I were young, recent pictures, pictures from before they were married, and the stories matched all walks of his life.
She opened it and there was a forward to the book that I had my sister's best friend, Alyssa Tucker, write- and Alyssa did so beautifully. My mom read it and closed the book. I think she started to cry, but she didn't want me to see. My aunt was smiling because she knew that it was coming and seemed impressed- which is a rare thing for Aunt Vicki to be. I went up to my mom and started flipping through the pages with her. She was surprised at how many people had something to say about him and that I knew to contact all of them. She had no idea that it was a book of memories. She was so happy! I hadn't really seen her smile in months. In a moment where she was so stressed about the move and saying her final goodbye, it was a nice distraction. She kept saying, "Who did this?" and I kept repeating, "Mom, I did and I did it for you. We all did it for you."
The next person that will receive the book is my Uncle Dan. He flew into Tampa last night to help my mom move as well. He was very close to my father and to me. I hope that one day, in place of my dad, that he will be the one to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I took the liberty of buying him some very rare cigars that you can't find anywhere else but here in Tampa to also gift to him, since my uncle and my father's favorite thing to do was smoke good cigars. In fact, at the funeral in San Diego, CA- Dan closed his speech with a quote. A quote that is very appropriate for here:
"Winston Churchill once said, "Life is like a good cigar." and Bob liked good cigars, and he had a good life."
